Barstool Philosopher (2008)

What the fuck is the deal with drunks?
So I finally finished this piece entitled "the Barstool Philosopher". I tried a new painting technique this time around. I was a bit inspired by early German expressionism and the sloppy drunks that I run into at bars. These awesome photos were taken by my good friend Beth Ashby Ferrara, you can check out her work at, www.fotojedi.com Below is the original story I wrote a few moths ago when I first finished sculpting him. Hope you guys dig it. Safe drinking and sorry to all of you who received my drunk calls and messages this past weekend, cheers!
-Red Rooster







The Barstool Philosopher


The dim light of the bar hides her bite marks on my neck.
My lips are bruised, my shoulders are scratched and I got a knot on my forehead.
Ive got a slight headache from lack of sleep and my sunken eyes burn.
I take a draw from the cold bottle and place it over my knotted forehead as I think about her stupid dog figurine.

"You know that thing is worth over 200 dollars", she said. "...but I got it for 20 at a yard sale from some old lady who didn't know what she was selling."

"You got jacked", I replied.

Her eyes cringed and upper lip stiffened as she punched me on my chest.
I laughed at her sad attempt to hurt me.
I grabbed her slick black hair, pulled her head back and began to passionately kiss, suck, and bite her neck.
She bit my lips till they bled and scratched seven layers of skin off my back.
A Woman like that should be caged up somewhere.

The beer bottles clank, ping, and crash all around me and my pint glass is due for a refill.
I signal the bartender and order me up another Guinness.
In a low lit corner near the edge of the bar, sits the bar stool philosopher in search of an audience.
I recognize him by his forced desperate awkward laugh.
Hes trying to make friends with anyone at the bar but its only a sad attempt to sell his pathetic life story to anyone dumb enough to listen.
He pulls up the stool next to me and begins his sad song.

"Yeah man, I work delivering beers and barely make enough money to make it. My kid is the brightest in his class and I'm going to do what ever it takes to keep him at a private school. public schools in LA are gone to shits. My Wife is threatening to divorce me but is waiting till she gets her fucken car paid off. I'm trying to fuck this bartender here but I don't want her to get attached. Yeah, I know what its like out there on the streets man, I grew up in Pasadena. All those white people hate Mexicans out there but I'm a Chicano and I don't give a fuck. Yeah, I work delivering beer and barely make enough money to make it....you know what I mean man?"

After three beers hes resolved his problems and feels the needs to give me advise.

"You know what man, your young you should save your money and buy a house. My cousin Chayo just bought her house in Riverside. She's remodeling it and then she's going to sell it. Who beat you up?"

"Some girl"

"Aww fuck that I would never let some bitch treat me like that. My wife tries to tell me what to do and I'm like fuck that. I never trust a woman. One time my homeboy Stephen took his son to the movies and when he came back his girl was fucking some black dude. Fuck that if I found my woman with some Negro Id kill them both. I never trust women. But for real man, I'm a nice guy. you know what they call me? Gentle Giant. Thats 'cause I'm big and look mean but I'm a good guy on the inside. You should go back to school and get an education. My brother Rickey got out of jail when he was 24, went back to school and now he owns his own body shop. Its all about making money and fucking bitches. Never get married, that shit just fucks you up. Hey, have you been checked? (for disease) Fuck that homeboy go get checked tomorrow you just never know who these bitches been fucking. I remember back in 92 when the Riots happened me and my homeboy Rigo came up on a Street Fighter II video arcade game and set it up in his grandmas house and charged all the little kids a quarter to play. You see I've always been about making money. Hey, you should go Holla' at that girl over there, she hot foo'. Yeah man, I deliver beer and barely make enough money to make it."

He finally gets too drunk and belligerent and ends up getting kicked out of the bar. The bartender tells me,

"You shouldn't let your friend drink too much".

"I have no Idea who that dude is"

"but you where talking to him for a long time"

"He was talking, I was drinking"

"So, who beat you up?"

"Some girl"

"Why?"

"Because I'm a sculptor and I barely make enough money to make it............."

-Red Rooster 2007